The Dallas Cowboys press convention was so bleak that gentle can’t penetrate its floor

Like them or hate them, the Dallas Cowboys are nonetheless one of many greatest, most-influential, and recognizable groups not simply within the NFL — however all of sports activities globally. So it’s greater than slightly unhappy when the group, which is already struggling, trots out a press convention which is so inane, so tone-deaf, that it’s inconceivable to think about the course of the franchise.

That’s exactly what occurred on Monday, as Jerry Jones and his fool son Stephen sidled as much as a microphone to debate the longer term, and the underwhelming hiring of Brian Schottenheimer as head coach. It was gentle on reassurances, heavy in disconnect, and a complete mess.

Quotes from the press convention are so completely unhinged that you just’d swear it was a parody of Jerry Jones. Brace your self.

On hiring Schottenheimer:

None of this makes any sense, and that’s earlier than we even get to the truth that Jerry Jones is actually obsessive about the concept “Schottenheimer” seems like “pictures.” Hiring a man no one else desires, who isn’t coveted elsewhere, who’s already inside your group from a earlier failing regime is the precise reverse of “taking a shot.” It’s taking a nap.

Jerry on his vetting course of:

There’s simply one thing magical about 82-year-old Jerry Jones calling up 79-year-old Steve Spurrier and asking him about how Schottenheimer was a participant, which was again in 1994 — then utilizing that to tell his teaching resolution.

On the wage cap hell the Cowboys are in:

It’s unclear what metric Jerry is doing to say he “does actual effectively.” The Cowboys are presently $4.4M OVER the projected wage cap, with solely 56 gamers underneath contract. They don’t have the house to signal anybody in free company, Micah Parsons wants an extension, and the roster as constructed went 7-10.

Simply to match, the Colts went 8-9 and have $24M in efficient cap house. Dallas is paying loads to suck.

Now it’s Stephen Jones time, child:

You don’t get to air quote when one thing is factually correct. The final time the Cowboys went to the Tremendous Bowl was throughout Invoice Clinton’s first time period as president. The workforce hasn’t gone to the NFC Championship recreation in 1995. If one thing hasn’t occurred in 30 years it’s objectively a “drought.”

When the Cincinnati Bengals, Arizona Cardinals, Carolina Panthers, and Las Vegas Raiders have been to extra Tremendous Bowls within the final 25 years than you’ve got, it’s a rattling drought.

It’s okay although, as a result of Stephen thinks the whole lot is nice:

It’s a very good factor you may win championships for being the Ninth-winningest common season workforce within the NFL over 15 years.

The Cowboys are screwed

It’s one factor to take a look at the wage cap, underwhelming expertise, questionable contract extensions — however one other totally when there isn’t a single particular person in a management place able to righting this ship.

Jerry Jones is meandering round speaking about “Schotty pictures,” Stephen Jones is the inheritor obvious and doesn’t assume there’s been a drought. Every part is a large number. For many years the Cowboys have accomplished issues their very own means, however the high degree of this workforce remains to be resting on the laurels of a time with dial up web.

Issues as so unhealthy it’s nearly not humorous anymore to clown on Cowboys followers. This can be a catastrophe.