The brand new trailer for Grand Theft Auto VI simply dropped and we’re all just about shedding it within the workplace. The primary return to Vice Metropolis in 23 years may be very completely different from the final, ditching the ‘80s aesthetic for what looks like a contemporary Bonnie and Clyde story in Rockstar’s model of Miami.
As unbelievable as GTA V was in Los Santos, it positively lacked some sports activities. Certain, you can play tennis or do yoga, but when we’re being trustworthy “sports activities” aren’t the very first thing that come to thoughts within the tradition of Los Angeles. Miami, nicely, that’s a little bit completely different — and we began speaking about all of the issues we hope are within the sport.
A Heist on the F1 Vice Metropolis Grand Prix
You see many issues at a System One race tracks. Amongst them? Safe checkpoints round each nook, sufficient safety to make the occasion really feel like it’s being held at a high secret navy facility, and many extraordinarily rich folks being catered to by corporations via elaborate and costly activations.
Feels like the proper backdrop for a heist.
An on-the-nose satire of Lionel Messi
There’s nothing extra Miami than taking one thing town by no means cared about in Inter Miami, and making it the most popular ticket in a single day due to one athlete. This has every thing Rockstar likes to lampoon: The habit to superstar in the US, tax evasion, a distinct segment matter sport like MLS.
If we’re not doing one thing to kidnap a pretend Messi we’ve tousled.
Liam Coen voice appearing somebody
It may be a bit half for all I care. We can’t have a protagonist with the final identify “Duval” and never have the Jaguars’ new head coach giving his greatest (and hilarious) “Duvaaaal.”
Individuals complaining concerning the site visitors
One of many main themes on the Miami Grand Prix final week?
Visitors.
No, not the site visitors on the circuit, however the site visitors attending to it. It even led to an unbelievable second throughout the FIA Press Convention on Thursday when Crimson Bull driver Yuki Tsunoda was complaining concerning the site visitors round Miami, when Alpine driver Pierre Gasly interjected “You get a police escort, what are you complaining about!”
So, some site visitors jokes are anticipated, and they’re tangentially sports-related now.
Jimmy Butler as a personality
I do know he’s with the Warriors, however Jimmy Butler’s best-remembered years will at all times be because the star of the Miami Warmth. Give me a coffee-loving NBA participant to spend time with. Ideally each scene his hair adjustments full in honor of Butler’s love of fixing up his look.
Maybe it’s a heist at an expert basketball sport and he’s the within man?
Dealing medication for Michael Irvin
He is usually a quest giver.
Dealing medication to Michael Irvin
He will be the tip of a quest.
An empty baseball stadium
Common attendance for the Miami Marlins throughout the 2024 season was simply 13,425.
That’s down from the typical of 14,355 throughout the 2023 season.
Miami Freedom Park
A brand new stadium is being constructed for Inter Miami CF, proper by Miami International Airport. It’s descrimattress as an upcoming “recreation vacation spot that every one Miamians can get pleasure from, offering 58 acres of public parks and inexperienced area, a tech hub, eating places and retailers, soccer fields for the group, a 25,000 stadium for Inter Miami.”
It’s anticipated to open in … 2026. Simply in time for GTAVI.
The Miami Hurricanes shedding on the radio
No Miami-based online game could be full with out an homage to essentially the most iconic model of Miami sports activities, however solely on this means. Miami soccer is on the cusp of being good once more, however at all times loses in catastrophic trend.
Let’s have fun these traditionally hilarious losses by placing the choice for a Miami Hurricanes sport on the radio, however provided that the Hurricanes lose on a fumble after they might’ve taken a knee, or get shredded by some tremendous senior QB. You may even have the fan call-ins like they usually do on postgame radio!
A literal alligator on a golf course
We’ve all seen it earlier than:
There must be a aspect quest within the sport the place it’s important to golf, however then an alligator steps in entrance of the opening and it’s important to select to let it play, stroll away or battle the alligator together with your golf golf equipment. It will be absolute cinema.