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Sunday, April 20, 2025

John Oliver Returns To ‘The Every day Present’ To Gloat


John Oliver is again on The Every day Present, ten years after he left and simply as America is getting into an period that feels so much like monarchy.

Oliver joined his outdated buddy Jon Stewart on tonight’s present to “gloat” about this reality, and welcome the nation into its new part.

The host of HBO’s Final Week Tonight was the senior British correspondent on The Every day Present with Jon Stewart between 2006 and 2013 with a visitor spot as host as Stewart went to direct Rosewater. It’s not his first return to the Comedy Central present, having appeared alongside Ronny Chieng in November 2023 to speak about satire and immigration.

His return got here after President Donald Trump began making information akin to renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, scaling again laws and insisting that America was at its richest between 1870 and 1913.

“It’s been an excellent run, America, it appears to be like like we’re turning into much less just like the constitutional republic it’s been for 250 years and extra just like the monarchy that all of us fought to flee from,” Stewart mentioned earlier than Oliver appeared.

“The prodigal son seems to have returned,” he mentioned. “I’m right here to brag. America had its little enjoyable, experimenting with democracy. You fought so onerous to get away from us, appearing up, throwing all that tea into the harbor, you continue to owe us for that.”

“The purpose is you advised everybody you had been going to be completely different, you weren’t going to prove just like the imply outdated dad that was horrible to you rising up so we sat again and allow you to spend your wild teen years, experimenting along with your ridiculous concepts of checks and balances as a result of deep down we knew that after you bought that nonsense out of your system, you’d be again,” he added. “Let me be the primary to welcome America to its monarchy period. Congratulations everybody, you may take your home within the pantheon of nice empires alongside the British, the Roman, the Klingon, Wakanda, regardless of the Barbie elephant was the ruler of, I neglect.”

Stewart tried to recommend that perhaps America didn’t need to abandon its reproduction and “go full empire”.

“Don’t battle being a monarchy, embrace it, kings get shit executed. Is it stuff you need executed? Not essentially however they do transfer fast, they style cumin at lunch and take over whole continents by time for supper. That’s how the British roll, f*ck everybody else, they’re not like us,” he mentioned.

However Stewart identified that issues “didn’t find yourself so nice for the British empire”.

“Initially, how dare you? We’re technically between empires in the intervening time however we’re maintaining our castles heat and our crowns bejeweled for the day that we get again onto our ft,” he mentioned. “Imperial mannequin isn’t for you? For a rustic that doesn’t need to be an empire, you’re doing a reasonably fucking good impression proper now. Invasions, financial exploitations and now suggesting turning Gaza right into a beachfront on line casino? Even King George would have been like ‘I don’t know guys, feels just like the state of affairs is a little more difficult than that and I’m actually dying of medieval mind illness’”.

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