The lights dimmed, and the viewers fell silent. It was a chilly January afternoon in 2007, and I used to be sitting in a crowded auditorium in Windfall, Rhode Island, nervously eager about the week forward. In only a few days, I’d journey internationally and step right into a classroom for the primary time as a scholar instructor—a dream years within the making that out of the blue felt overwhelming.
I’d listened to the “Depraved” forged recording extra instances than I may depend, however seeing it carried out dwell was one thing else completely. The musical, primarily based on Gregory Maguire’s 1995 novel, reimagines the acquainted world of The Wizard of Oz from Elphaba’s perspective, the misunderstood and defiant Depraved Witch of the West. When Elphaba soared into the air throughout “Defying Gravity,” her voice appeared to echo my very own doubts and aspirations. She wasn’t simply rejecting the established order for the sake of insurrection, she was daring to think about a world the place she may exist on her personal phrases, regardless of being outlined by others round her. Her defiance was daring and weak, a refusal to let concern or custom dictate her path.
Sitting in that theater, I felt one thing spark inside me. I puzzled if I had that sort of braveness. May I step into an unfamiliar classroom on the opposite facet of the world and discover my voice as a instructor? May I problem my insecurities, the expectations of others, and the boundaries I hadn’t but questioned? Elphaba’s ascent wasn’t only a efficiency – it was a reminder that entering into the unknown is likely to be the one strategy to create one thing significant. I left the theater with my coronary heart pounding, unaware of what lay forward, however decided to rise anyway.
Instructing as Transformation
That spark carried me into scholar instructing in Townsville, Queensland, Australia the place I used to be pushed to develop in methods I hadn’t anticipated. Instructing whereas nonetheless studying to handle a classroom and create cohesive, participating classes in a brand new setting was humbling and daunting. My cooperating instructor moved with ease: each lesson was a efficiency, delivered with such presence that she captivated her viewers. Watching her left me questioning if I used to be minimize out for this work.
However I stored returning to Elphaba’s journey: “One thing has modified inside me; one thing just isn’t the identical.” Her defiance wasn’t insurrection; it was the braveness to think about one thing higher. Like her, I used to be nonetheless discovering my voice, balancing the need to push boundaries whereas staying protected.
Early in my profession, I typically performed it protected, avoiding sure subjects and adjusting classes to match administrative expectations. These decisions pressured me to confront a tough query: Was I defying unjust techniques, complying with them or complicit by way of silence? As a white, queer educator in predominantly white college districts, stepping again from dangers typically felt like the simpler—and safer—alternative. This privilege, nonetheless, just isn’t shared by many who navigate these flawed techniques with far much less security. Every time I selected security, it got here at a value. I felt the strain of compromising my values, the uneasy consciousness of what I’d left unsaid or undone.
These moments taught me a crucial reality: braveness isn’t all the time easy. It’s messy, uncomfortable and stuffed with missteps. Glinda’s complicity got here to thoughts, not by way of energetic hurt however quiet omissions that allowed unjust techniques to persist. But, these moments additionally taught me that defiance doesn’t should be grand. Typically, small, intentional decisions open the door to transformation. Elphaba’s phrases stayed with me: “I’m by way of accepting limits ‘trigger somebody says they’re so.” Her mindset helped me see a approach ahead, one which values boldness over compliance.
Training Then and Now
After I secured my first full-time instructing place, I nonetheless had room to discover. These early years gave me the liberty to strive new concepts, take dangers and study from my errors. I experimented with classes that prioritized curiosity and creativity, and I noticed firsthand the influence of participating college students with studying experiences that felt related and difficult.
However as time went on, I started to really feel disoriented. Departmental and school-wide conversations weren’t about learn how to encourage college students or make studying significant, they have been about monitoring information and avoiding the label of failure. As I moved to different faculties and districts, instructing started to really feel much less like a occupation constructed on relationships and creativity and extra like a enterprise for managing outcomes. The introduction of nationwide requirements and corresponding assessments tightened the main target even additional. Expectations grew inflexible, and the artistic freedom I used to be beginning to discover—nonetheless tentative—started to vanish and was chipped away by mandates that left little room for flexibility and innovation. I bear in mind considering, is that this what instructing is meant to seem like?
Practically 20 years later, I see how a lot, and the way little, has modified in training. The panorama feels extra polarized than ever. The emphasis on accountability measures persists, now compounded by rising waves of censorship. E book challenges, restricted curricula and makes an attempt to silence essential conversations haven’t simply made the classroom really feel smaller – they’ve narrowed the probabilities of what instructing and studying could be. As a substitute of turning into areas the place college students take dangers and discover new concepts that matter to them, too many lecture rooms have grown much less participating, extra cautious and more and more constrained.
Defying Gravity in Follow
To ‘defy gravity’ in training means rejecting the boundaries imposed by concern and systemic constraints. In a instructor preparation CTE pathway course I taught to highschool juniors and seniors, we grappled with these concepts collectively. Utilizing Bobbie Harro’s “The Cycle of Socialization,” we examined how concern, ignorance and insecurity form our identities and the way in which we see the world. By visible representations of their socialization, my college students puzzled: What’s holding me again? What forces have formed who I’m? Who do I wish to be as a future instructor?
These conversations led us to Harro’s “The Cycle of Liberation,” the place college students started envisioning actionable methods to form their future lecture rooms. Collectively, we explored what it means to boost consciousness, disrupt oppressive techniques, reframe dominant narratives and construct genuine relationships.
One scholar, impressed by her dual-language expertise, designed actions celebrating linguistic range to assist multilingual learners. One other, affected by a Texas case the place a faculty coverage disproportionately impacted college students of colour over hairstyles, proposed revising district insurance policies to be extra inclusive.
By the top of the course, my college students had come to grasp that instructing goes past merely delivering classes or grading assignments. It’s about participating with complexity, embracing discomfort and committing to development.
A Name to Defy Gravity
When Elphaba rose into the air, I felt a flicker of risk—an exhilarating sense that the world may very well be greater and freer if solely I had the braveness. On the time, I didn’t totally perceive, but it surely planted a seed.
Practically 20 years later, that glint has grown stronger, guiding me by way of the challenges, setbacks and triumphs of instructing. Transformation, I’ve realized, isn’t a single dramatic act. It’s a collection of decisions: staying curious when issues really feel inflexible, assembly college students the place they’re or questioning the techniques that restrict them. It occurs within the quiet persistence of making an attempt once more after failure, trusting that small shifts can create lasting change.
Like Elphaba’s ascent, transformation requires believing in one thing not but totally realized. Every act of danger and resilience builds towards one thing higher – for my college students and the futures they dare to think about.