I discussed “petals of self value,” the exercise on this weblog publish, in my final publish on workout routines to enhance physique picture, so I assumed this publish may use a fast refresh and reshare. If you happen to’re somebody who enjoys artwork as a part of your therapeutic, I feel you’ll love this train. If you happen to’re a clinician, that is additionally an amazing one to do together with your shoppers, both in session or as homework.
If somebody requested you to explain your self in a sentence, what would you say? I feel most individuals would spout off an inventory of persona traits, hobbies, their occupation, passions, or describe themselves in relation to others (i.e. father or mother, partner, little one, and so on).
Now, how would you describe somebody you like? My guess is that you’d have even nicer issues to say, since all of us are usually quite a bit nicer to others than we’re to ourselves. You’ll most likely share an extended listing of traits that you just worth about the one you love and issues that make them the distinctive particular person you deeply look after.
If I may learn your minds as you shared these descriptions, I might most likely study quite a bit about you and the one you love. However one factor I probably wouldn’t study is physique dimension, neither yours or theirs. That’s as a result of someplace inside, we all know that who we’re as a human is so far more than the quantity on the dimensions.
But, it would not all the time really feel that approach. In my follow, I work with women and men who’ve deeply internalized their dimension as a part of their id, normally unconsciously. Whereas it won’t make the listing of traits of how they describe themselves, their weight takes up an outsized chunk of their self value.
For instance, I work with shoppers in larger our bodies who’ve internalized the unfavourable stereotypes that society usually portrays of them. I am unable to let you know what number of sensible, profitable, and hardworking folks I’ve labored with over time who contemplate themselves lazy, as that could be a false stereotype related to larger weights. Whenever you have a look at what they’ve achieved in life, they’re something however lazy! However society has instructed them many times that they aren’t doing sufficient, and primarily gaslights them into believing it’s true – that they aren’t worthy of excellent issues in life as a result of they’re in a much bigger physique.
Equally, I’ve additionally labored folks in smaller our bodies, particularly ladies, who’ve gotten a lot “constructive” suggestions about their thinness versus another attribute or accomplishment, that their physique turns into the primary factor supporting their self value. It is smart that any change to their physique dimension (massive or small), or just a worry of dropping one’s thinness, turns into an assault on their self id and price.
Sadly, the fact is that we stay in a world that locations better worth on smaller our bodies – the idea that your value is wrapped up in your physique dimension is just not one thing you personally got here up with by yourself. Anti-fatness is insidious in our society, and whereas it results some greater than others, it does have an effect on us all. If you happen to’re like most individuals I work with, this societal worth is just not a private worth, and simply because a bit of society would possibly really feel a sure approach doesn’t imply that you might want to undertake that line of pondering.
None of that is to say that one’s physique should not play any position in self id. Your physique will usually dictate your experiences on the earth (particularly in case you are in a marginalized physique), and experiences form who you’re as an individual. It is unattainable to separate the 2.
What your physique shouldn’t play a task in is your self value. Who you’re is a lot greater than a physique. Seeing as how your physique is sort of sure to alter throughout your life, it would not actually seem to be a sensible concept to wrap your self value up in it!
An Exercise for Constructing Self-Price
One factor we work on with shoppers helps them foster extra stronger and extra resilient self value, and an id exterior of their physique. An train I discovered in particular person supervision with Evelyn Tribole (one of many dietitians who based Intuitive Consuming) is an exercise known as Petals of Self Price. It’s a extremely enjoyable one to do with my shoppers who’re extra inventive, however if you happen to lack within the creative division, be at liberty to make use of the pictures I included on this weblog publish!
To finish this exercise, first draw, paint, or print out a picture of a flower. Then, write down a attribute you worth about your self that doesn’t have something to do together with your look in every of the petals. If that feels exhausting to do, consider compliments you’ve acquired from others, or ask for assist from folks you like. You possibly can additionally have a look at this listing of persona traits or this listing of values for inspiration. Be at liberty so as to add extra petals, or if you wish to go away just a few clean and assume extra about it, that’s OK too!
Have enjoyable with this venture, and be at liberty to take it nevertheless you’d like! I’ve had shoppers paint petals the place the colours or drawings inside symbolize traits – it’s so cool to see how folks visually symbolize who they’re! Considered one of my shoppers used footage of themselves all through their life, every representing traits about themselves, reducing out and gluing footage collectively to make flower petals. You possibly can additionally minimize footage from magazines and make a flower collage.
If you happen to want an instance, right here’s a mini-flower I made for myself. It might appear foolish, however even a short look at it and I discover a little bit pleasure and appreciation brewing inside my physique.
