- Lorna Ciccone and Melissa Roumanis dreamed of turning into dad and mom, so did Dennis Kwan — and all three had been in a position to see their desires got here to fruition collectively
- Ciccone and Roumanis, who bought married shortly earlier than their daughter’s start, met Kwan in January 2023 via a Fb web page that connects members of the LGBTQ+ group with sperm donors
- “As a lot as he’s the dad to our youngster, he’s very a lot our accomplice,” Ciccone tells PEOPLE, including that Kwan has already “introduced a lot to our lives”
Lorna Ciccone and Melissa Roumanis dreamed of turning into dad and mom. So did Dennis Kwan. Because of a Fb web page that connects members of the LGBTQ+ group with sperm donors, all there have been in a position to see their desires come to fruition collectively.
With Kwan, 42, as their sperm donor, Ciccone, 39, and Roumanis, 37, had been in a position to get pregnant, and welcomed daughter Ajla on Sept. 25.
Now, the trio are solely opening as much as PEOPLE about their journey and providing an inside take a look at how their particular household got here to be.
Ciccone, a Naturopathic Physician, and Roumanis, a university professor, inform PEOPLE they knew they wished to start out a household collectively shortly after assembly over 5 in the past, and had been wanting into choices for 2 years earlier than Kwan entered the image.
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Kwan, a skilled photographer, had at all times envisioned being a dad by some means. “However the best way my life went, I journey continuously, at all times on the highway, I spotted that I actually haven’t got room to be a full-time guardian, whether or not or not I am a single guardian or partnered. In order that’s how this journey happened.”
Shortly after he turned 41, he noticed an episode of Lisa Ling‘s docuseries This Is Life known as ‘Acquired Sperm’. On the time he had no concept so many ladies had been searching for donors and must resort to sperm banks. “There are males who’ve a whole bunch of youngsters on the market and are serial sperm donors. I simply thought, ‘Wow, that is loopy.'”
That gave him an concept, and in January 2023, Kwan went to Fb, discovered the “LGBT Sperm Donors” web page and introduced he was keen to donate, however solely below sure circumstances.
“I made a publish that stated, ‘Hey, I am a single homosexual man. I’ve this concept of being a sperm donor and I am solely focused on doing it if I will be concerned. I solely need to assist make a baby if I do know it is going to be raised by nice individuals and if I will be concerned as a enjoyable uncle.'”
Very quickly, Kwan says he acquired a “wild variety of responses” to his inquiry, together with from Ciccone and Roumanis who’re primarily based in Victoria, British Columbia.
Each Ciccone and Roumanis had been open to Kwan being part of their kid’s life and so they all clicked straight away.
Kwan tells PEOPLE they “actually hit it off” throughout their first, hour-long Zoom name collectively, and did so once more the next month when Ciccone and Roumanis spent a weekend with him in California. “All of us agreed that we felt like we hit the jackpot,” Kwan remembers.
A short while later, the trio agreed to attempt to conceive collectively. In spite of everything events signed authorized agreements, they made their first try with an at house insemination package in March 2023.
After 9 months of attempting with no success, the trio opted to discover intrauterine insemination (IUI). “Whilst you’re on that journey, you surprise, ‘Am I going to be a kind of those who is ready to conceive? Does my journey finish with out a youngster?’ remembers Ciccone of the emotional fertility rollercoaster. Lastly, she bought the joyful information they had been ready for: she was pregnant.
It was a particular second for Ciccone, who, like one in 4 girls, has polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). For a few years, she believed it could be tough for her to get pregnant.
“The truth that we nonetheless had been in a position to conceive, at all times simply looks like a miracle,” Ciccone says.
Earlier than the newborn was born, the trio needed to reply some critical questions. Who can be on the start certificates? (They in the end determined each mothers can be listed.) Would their daughter name Kwan “dad,” or one thing else?
“We had that dialog and he was stated, ‘I might be honored to be known as dad, simply so long as that is what you need,'” says Ciccone. “She will get to have two mothers and a dad.”
In addition they mentioned what sort of function will Kwan have within the household’s life. They hope to spend time collectively throughout holidays, household occasions, holidays and extra, however they’re all “versatile” with the way it performs out.
“No matter relationship Dennis desires to have, we’re so open and welcoming to it,” says Ciccone. “As a lot as he’s the dad to our youngster, he’s very a lot our accomplice,” she says, including that Kwan has already “introduced a lot to our lives”
Kwan is he is excited for the “new household dynamic” they’ve created, but in addition desires to ensure “to provide them their area to have their household time too,” he says. “The kid’s going to be half Asian, in order that they’re very excited for her to be related to the Asian aspect of her household.”
In August, Kwan and his mother Cathie Kwan had been even current for the couple’s wedding ceremony at Virgin Lodge Las Vegas. “She is that this superb gentle and enjoyable, unbelievable bonus grandparent that we’re so excited to have in our daughter’s life,” says Ciccone of Kwan’s mother including, “We have additionally met Dennis’s dad and his accomplice, and he’s simply an unbelievable, pretty human that we might be honored to play that function of grandfather.
On Sept. 25, Ciccone gave start to Ajla every week early. ” I can not consider she selected us to be her household,” says Ciccone. “I’ve this thought each time I take a look at her.”
Provides Roumanis: “When Ajla set free her first little whimper, it was essentially the most magical sound. It is nonetheless laborious to consider that is actual — that we have truly introduced somebody into the world.”
Each new mothers are wanting ahead to creating the most effective life for his or her daughter and seeing the individual she’ll develop into. “I am excited to have this actually unbelievable alternative to create this container of security for somebody to discover their very own life,” Ciccone says.
Kwan says he and the 2 mothers are “already continuously in touch through WhatsApp,” and he is assured they are going to keep a wholesome line of communication. After getting information that child Ajla was coming every week early, he hopped on a flight to Vancouver and formally entered his “Daddy period.”
“It nonetheless all feels very surreal,” says Kwan of assembly her for the primary time. “I simply stared at her. It was fairly magical.”
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Now, Kwan is soft-launching a brand new service known as Gaybe Child, which helps match LGBTQ+ {couples} and single girls with homosexual sperm donors. The Gaybe Child app might be much like Tinder, “the place individuals can simply swipe” via their choices and discover matches.
“Over the course of my very own journey, I spotted that there have been many homosexual males on the market who can be an unbelievable uncle, dads additionally, and likewise desired this type of relationship with somebody, with a pair or a single girl even,” he explains.
As she displays on their journey, Ciccone says the expertise has helped her see household life in a brand new perspective. “You do not have to be restricted by the programs in place or the assumption programs that you simply had been raised with,” she tells PEOPLE. “You actually can take a minute to create no matter it’s you need.”
Roumanis provides, “If we will make one thing somewhat bit simpler for the following individual, I believe that’s the smartest thing that we may go on.”